There are two ways to understand yourself:
1) Reflecting about who you are inside your own mind
2) Seeing yourself through someone else's perspective through interactions
I've had a lot of time to do the former in the last 4 months because my friends got busy doing other things in their life. Experiencing that feeling changed me. I went along with the flow, of course. It wasn't entirely my fault for becoming the lonely girl who sits cooped up at home everyday doing her own thing. Slowly but steadily, I became indifferent to what anyone had to share with me despite knowing that those rare conversations ought to be valued.
The worse part is that I could often feel that phase cling on to me and that personality begin to become me. For those who knew me before the start of the year, they'd know how unlike me it is to be the dull lifeless person in the group. I was ALWAYS the overly hyper one and even I would get irritated with my happy state once in a while. Getting high or listening to music became the things I'd look forward to at the end of the day. It's a shame that it happened when it did. But writing this down makes me realize the reality of it and makes me want to take the situation in my hands and change it. And I will.
If you've managed to come till the end of the post, I'll tell you what you should take from it. Get to know yourself better each day because you'd be surprised at the direction life can take sometimes. Take out time for yourself and escape reality occasionally. It helps. Trust me!
1) Reflecting about who you are inside your own mind
2) Seeing yourself through someone else's perspective through interactions
I've had a lot of time to do the former in the last 4 months because my friends got busy doing other things in their life. Experiencing that feeling changed me. I went along with the flow, of course. It wasn't entirely my fault for becoming the lonely girl who sits cooped up at home everyday doing her own thing. Slowly but steadily, I became indifferent to what anyone had to share with me despite knowing that those rare conversations ought to be valued.
The worse part is that I could often feel that phase cling on to me and that personality begin to become me. For those who knew me before the start of the year, they'd know how unlike me it is to be the dull lifeless person in the group. I was ALWAYS the overly hyper one and even I would get irritated with my happy state once in a while. Getting high or listening to music became the things I'd look forward to at the end of the day. It's a shame that it happened when it did. But writing this down makes me realize the reality of it and makes me want to take the situation in my hands and change it. And I will.
If you've managed to come till the end of the post, I'll tell you what you should take from it. Get to know yourself better each day because you'd be surprised at the direction life can take sometimes. Take out time for yourself and escape reality occasionally. It helps. Trust me!
I do some unusual stuff when faced with a choice in my daily fuck'd up life. :D
ReplyDeleteNicely written. ^^