Everything was fine this afternoon. I received my first salary and called up my mother to tell her the good news. I wish I had got a chance to see her reaction and hopefully, the look of pride on her face. I didn't. But that was all right.
To celebrate, I dressed up and was taken out by my aunt(s) and uncle to a fancy restaurant at a hotel. I ate what was put on my plate but did not celebrate with a glass of wine or champagne as I probably could have, in retrospect. I was content. With how things are for me, with my salary, with talking to my mother on the phone for a long time every night even though I can't hug her before going to sleep every night. There are complaints waiting to be spoken inside me. But what I'm realizing I've started doing is ignoring them.
And then I come home and turn to Twitter. 4/5/6/12 'minor' blasts in Pune. I don't get why the press has called them 'minor' or why people should not panic. If people are dying in such an unnatural way, how can you not panic? A sense of fear will only make a potential victim act out in some way or another in a situation where self defence can help, right? Why does society dictate everything and try and curb the natural instinct of human beings? If someone kissed his girlfriend during a protest and someone happened to click a photograph in that very second, why do controversies have to stem from it?
This is one of the continuations of many of my previous posts that claim not to understand humanity. I'm genuinely trying hard to and I hope I can understand good versus bad soon. I thought I had it figured out as a kid based on what I was taught by my parents and teachers. Evidently, they were not well informed. Or, to give them the benefit of the doubt, we've let the world change too much and are just struggling to find a space in this often hostile environment. Whatever the case may be, I just wish there could be easier answers than violence and terrorism and rape and abuse of so many different forms!
To celebrate, I dressed up and was taken out by my aunt(s) and uncle to a fancy restaurant at a hotel. I ate what was put on my plate but did not celebrate with a glass of wine or champagne as I probably could have, in retrospect. I was content. With how things are for me, with my salary, with talking to my mother on the phone for a long time every night even though I can't hug her before going to sleep every night. There are complaints waiting to be spoken inside me. But what I'm realizing I've started doing is ignoring them.
And then I come home and turn to Twitter. 4/5/6/12 'minor' blasts in Pune. I don't get why the press has called them 'minor' or why people should not panic. If people are dying in such an unnatural way, how can you not panic? A sense of fear will only make a potential victim act out in some way or another in a situation where self defence can help, right? Why does society dictate everything and try and curb the natural instinct of human beings? If someone kissed his girlfriend during a protest and someone happened to click a photograph in that very second, why do controversies have to stem from it?
This is one of the continuations of many of my previous posts that claim not to understand humanity. I'm genuinely trying hard to and I hope I can understand good versus bad soon. I thought I had it figured out as a kid based on what I was taught by my parents and teachers. Evidently, they were not well informed. Or, to give them the benefit of the doubt, we've let the world change too much and are just struggling to find a space in this often hostile environment. Whatever the case may be, I just wish there could be easier answers than violence and terrorism and rape and abuse of so many different forms!
