Day 230/366

What are we all looking for? Or in other words, what is that one thing that binds humanity together? I used to think it is the mere fact that we are alive, that the combination of elements on this planet has granted us the ability to breathe air and survive day in day out. It seemed cause enough to celebrate! But that was before I grew up and read about suicides, nuclear warfare and people who are depressed enough to hurt themselves to feel alive. That’s bullshit. But then, who am I to say anything?

After that or somewhere in between, I was gullible enough to believe that humanity was given its existence because of the innate need to communicate with somebody or some form other than one’s own self. This was when I was told about sex being the union of a male and female to give birth to an offspring. I was proved wrong again. Written word, sign languages, body language, Braille would never be universal, even if it is so in its use. I remember studying about the ‘willing suspension of disbelief’ that one should hold on to while absorbing any art form - be it writing, film, theatre or any other visual art. I thought that such a concept could unite us. Apparently, it does not.  

There are loners out there who actually strive to maintain their state of being alone, regardless of whether or not they are content with that. They feel detached enough to not want any sense of belonging or commitment to family, friends or lovers. But those lost souls are more often than not drawn back by their individual conscience. A conscience. That seemed to be the last ray of hope in my meaningless pursuit. Every human, deep down inside has a conscience. There is a collective conscience that binds humanity was a plausible theory. One could not enjoy the idea of bloodshed, I would think. It’s funny now to think just how wrong I was.