Thursday, September 20, 2012

Day 264/366

Ms Oblivious,
I ask for permission to go for the music festival that I have been looking forward to since the last day of its second edition that I went for last year. I couldn't go for the first edition and yes, I did try to kill myself.
This year, I see no reason why I should not go. I know my colleague wants to go for her annual leave on the same days. But while she chooses to go get drunk at a beach with her friends, I want to do the same with my friends at a music festival. Do not trivialise my choice of enjoying life. You have friends and family and so does she. I have my own set of friends and family in the music community of this country. So basically, you have no right to differentiate between your choice of company and mine.

*I can't stand losing you-The Police playing in the background and fueling this anger*

By the time I wish to take my days off, it shall have been 5 months of me working in the company that I work in now. I deserve this break as much as any other. At least the rest of you have taken your holidays to here or there. I have only had that one day off a week which goes into planning the next week's stories and meeting people who I value in my life and who hate me because I have no time for them the rest of the week. I'm not asking you questions when you take a week off during the most crucial time of our company's branding, an activity I never signed on for when I signed that wretched contract.

I am angry. But I am honest. Had I said I have a family function to attend, I would have been possibly given the leave, wouldn't I? From where I come from, a lie can only be covered with another, more serious one. I am new to this world of commitments and am yet to learn the tricks of the trade. Somehow, I don't even think I'll be able to learn them because I don't want to. To me, my friends used to be fictional characters from books I'd read and my cousins and extended family members who were in my life by default because our parents got along. Music was the best thing that happened to me and it let me understand who I was, who my friends were, what kind of friends I wanted to keep in my life. To make that passion into a lie or an excuse is probably not in my capacity.

I just want you to know that about me. Don't expect me to shower you with praises to sugar coat you or to not point out an error when I see it. I'm not that person. Others might be and I don't feel the need to pass judgments on them. Just leave me and my music be. Or, accept my relationship with it.

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