Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Day 353/366

I heard what at the time seemed like a random question being asked to the listeners on the radio today – what extra baggage of 2012 would you like to leave behind as you go into the new year. I didn’t think I’d find myself reflecting on it, but I guess it’s just something you can’t shrug away when you realize you’re actually searching for an answer.

For myself, I suppose the one thing I need to get rid of is pre-conceived notions about myself that are convenient to hold on – I will not be the kind of girl who holds hands in public or the kind of person who needs to define a relationship. Let lust be lust, I had thought. Turns out, it’s a little too easy to box others into compartments, but when it comes to doing the same thing to yourself, you invariably default, ignore, deny and scream till you get your way with it.

Then the boxing itself must go. I have started judging people way too much. And the worse part is that I go out of the way (sometimes) to convey my disregard for certain things they do or don’t do. And that is not nice. My problem is that I have an ongoing case study of certain people in my life whom I choose to keep in my life because their stories are more interesting than they realize. And somewhere, with each interaction, as I find out newer hidden elements to them, it makes me happy. But that is not a normal way to build friendships or relationships of different sorts, and so, goodbye little notepad in my head. (I shall really miss you.)

For now, these are the only things I want to leave behind in 2012. It’s been a pretty decent year for me, which is why I can’t complain too much. But a little introspection once in a while is always good, right? Must. Not. Overthink.

Oh! And I must consider my liver’s needs over my personal whims. 

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